New Year’s Reflections
Why reflection is helpful…
One of the reasons 2020-21 has been so challenging is because there has been threat (covid, climate change, political and social unrest, etc). Especially in the case of covid, the threat is invisible and keeps us away from other people–even though connection is the very thing that our social nervous systems most need to feel safe. If you are feeling weary from the vigilance, you are not alone.
Reflection practices help bring awareness to the poignant and joyful moments in life that may lose our attention because… without conscious awareness that’s what brains do. We are actually hardwired to have a negativity bias. We focus on the negative as a means of protection and safety. While joy and pleasure actually do have a role in keeping us healthy and safe- in evolutionary biology we are wired to scan for and pay more attention to threats as a protective mechanism. This was perhaps a more helpful biological function when we needed to scan for predators.
As you might guess, I am going to suggest some practices that help bring attention to the positive moments in life. That said, I also think it’s important to acknowledge all that was hard. It’s not helpful to deny reality. We need to fully process difficulty to metabolize it- and often there is a resilience in recognizing we have gotten through a challenge. However, it’s important to spend time taking note of our growth, moments of joy, and what relationships have been most meaningful. This helps to cultivate a more realistic and positive perspective.
My top 3 suggestions for Reviewing the Year:
I have made it a habit to take pictures of joyful moments throughout the year. I almost always have my camera with me so it’s not that hard. At the end of the year, I go through and organize my photos by events for the entire year. This lets me see how many wonderful experiences and relationships fill my life. I sometimes make a photo book or slideshow, but other years I just look through and appreciate life.
I am a collector of good reflection questions. I like to take a moment- maybe as a group activity or maybe alone after the holiday bustle has subsided, to reflect on the past year and orient to the year ahead. Here are a few of the questions I found particularly useful this year.
One thing you did this year that you’re proud of (Marie Forlio)
What do I want more of? What do I want less of? (Lisa Zahiya)
What did you discover about yourself? (My friend Marlene sent some questions given to her by her temple when she heard I was gathering with some friends to reflect on the year)
Name 3 people that had a profound influence on you this year, and why
What are 3-5 words that represent what you are calling in for the upcoming year. (It can also be a powerful practice to choose a word or phrase for the year, that you can continually come back to)
How do you lounge? How do you mobilize? (Molly Caro- you can find out more about her offerings on my resource page)
A gratitude jar ritual. This is an especially nice tradition for families. The idea is that every year in January you start a new jar to collect moments of gratitude. It could be daily (that would be a lot), a weekly reflection or whenever you think of it (as long as you actually remember to capture the highlight moments). At the end of the year you read through the year’s worth of gratitudes. A great life isn’t just the grand experiences (although those are great too), it is made up of many small moments of wonder.